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Writer's Block: The long and winding road

Are there any difficult events in your past that made you a stronger person today? If you could go back and erase them, would you?

Well since this is my own topic im going to write:). Yes, there have been alot of difficult events in my past that made me a very strong person today. Not going to list them because theres so many lol.. I wouldn't erase them at all though. I take pride of the person that i am now which those events made me who i am today<3. If i would have erased them i think i would be very naive and sensitive. I learned alot from those past experiences so im glad i dont get that choice to erase them.

Thankyou livejournal for picking my topic<3...
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger:)

Writer's Block: How could you?

Would you ever take someone back after they cheated on you, and why? What could change your mind?

No.. I think im too much of an awesome person to get back with a cheater. It would be his or her lose. If i would... Well lets say the relationship wouldn't be healthy since i hold grudges and i must likely will turn into a big bitch lol
 Today i got asked out by this little ass girl that i dont know LOL Like why me? Shes not ugly or anything but shes sooo young. Eh! Is she trying to get me locked up or something? lol She looked like she would be one of my little sisters friends. Hmmmmmmmm-_- Wasn't flattering at all. Then when i said sorry but no she says oh ok i just wanted some pussy... Kids lol..... Anyways, my cheeks hurt and i cant wait to take them out. I do wish i could keep them like a normal piercing because their awesome but i dont want dimples that are there when i dont smile. Its just no. Heres a picture of me with them out when i smile:) Dimples, yay!! lol My cheeks are still swollen:/ I look a mess lol

Dimples make me look younger<3

Writer's Block: Free your mind

Do you believe society will ever truly overcome racism?

No, not at all. The more people i meet and get to know the more i find out how racist people are. I thought racism would be over by now but its not. Im mixed with black and German so i never grew up to be racist. My family is to colorful for that lol. My friend is Rican.. Dropping no names but she told me the reason why she dont like black people is because thats the way she grew up since her parents taught her that. I didn't understand it since her parents told her not to drink or smoke but... She still does it behind their back, so why listen to them and still be racist? Thats just weird.  If your going to be a rebel atleast be one fully, dont half ass it. I love people of all colors<3 I cant be racist lol Its just not me. I play around sometimes and act racist but everyone knows im joking to be funny. I dont go out of my way to be shallow to people of another race to hurt them. If i have a problem with someone its not about their race it would by the way they act..  I have white friends too and whenever their mad at a black person they seem to like to drop the nigger word. It hurts me alot that they would have to use that word to express their anger. That only makes them look ignorant and its not only targeting that black person but all black people. They could of used bitch or asshole but nooooo-.-... I do try to explain to them not to think like that but im only wasting my words.. Their still going to be racist behind my back no matter what. I have only seen people racist against black people because where i live and i could only imagine what other people are like:/  Wish this world wasn't like this. God bless the non racist people<3 

Writer's Block: Heroes and villains

Who was your favorite childhood superhero, and why?

I dont know if cat woman was a superhero lol But yeah i would say her. Well the cat woman from Batman Returns not Halle Berry... That movie sucked-.-.  The cat woman in Batman Returns was so weird but bad ass. The random things she would say were so interesting to me when i was a child. 

My fav quotes from her:  
 "As I was saying, Im a woman and I cant be taken for granted. Lifes a bitch, now so am i"  

 " Hello honey, Im home. Oh, I forgot. Im not married"

 " (gun fires twice) Four, five, STILL ALIVE (slash the whip, 2 more bullets) six, seven, all good girls go to heaven. (click)oh, two lives left Max. I think i’ll save one for next christmas, but until then, how bout a kiss Santy Claus."

"Cat woman: A kiss under the mistletoe. You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. Batman:But a kiss can be even deadlier... if you mean it."

Her outfit was pretty hot too;) Latex, staples and tightness lol Not to forget her sexy red lips<3

Writer's Block: Staying Connected

How does technology keep you in the loop throughout the day?

It keeps me in the loop by connecting with must of my friends easily. Using the computer and internet has really helped me with that. If it wasnt for technology, i would be right at their houses seeing what they were up to in this freezing cold lol Iv done this before.

What i think of everyday.

Last one from my facebook notes lol

I wrote this on September 23, 2010

This has been a dream of mine since ever but i doubt it will come true but im going to share it anyways lol
Well, my dream is having a big beautiful summer home on a beach with a clear blue ocean. In the back of this house will be a garden filled with all kinds of colorful flowers that you could run miles through. Beyond this garden leads an advanture into nature to go exploring. Of course im not going to be alone in this wonderful house, im going to be spending it with someone im in love with:). I picture me and my lover skinny dipping in our underground pool giving eachother endless kisses everywhere. We would run around the garden trying to catch eachother just to tease one another for the fun of it. At night we would slow dance on the beach, just dancing to the sounds of the wind and the ocean.Bubble baths together is a must too:p. Im absolutely sure we would must definitely make love like everywhere lol Even in a waterfall like in the movies;) Mmm, romantic stuff. Anyways this house would only be for the summer time to be at peace from all the stress from the normal home.

Yup, i hope it does come true.
One day i guess<3


I wrote this on September 6, 2010

Its one of those things that was never ment to be. I have a heart full of love but its seems its forbidden. This invisible force hates how half human i am. It tells me only god can love like that.. I wouldnt understand i guess, he hasnt ever talked to me. Im being punished, punished with this bittersweet feeling. Cursed for loving so much and hated for its not human enough.... for it i will be my own and stand for what i believe in, so i will one day fight through this force to take whats mine. What i deserve..
Right now, i dont fully understand this but i do know its not fair. For being hated for what i cant help...
So be it<3


Do you like to hear about your partner's exes? Does it make you jealous or forge greater intimacy?

Well it depends if its bad or good stuff about their ex. I could care less if its bad stuff since it would make me feel as though im a better girlfriend than she was. Now if i hear good stuff.. Well yeah, ill get jealous. Since i am a jealous person. I would must likely have bad thoughts that he still has feelings for her and would get back with her if i wasnt as good as her.

my goya bean<3

This is OLD lol But i like it From:Dec. 7th, 2009 at 6:28 AM

Dear baby,

its been 8 months since i aborted you:( i think i would have one more month to go till i had you in my arms. Mommy still loves you:) dont think i dont because i didnt have you, there was reasons behind that. theres not a day that goes by that i dont think of you and what you would of looked like, what gender you were gonna be, and how you would be like. i hate myself for not having my life together to be able to take care of you. you know when the doctor asked me if i was sure if i wanted to have that abortion like i wanted to say no soooo bad. and im sure you felt the pain i was feeling and how bad i wanted to cry. mommy had to be strong... the night before, did you hear me talking to you? bet you did. i kept telling you i loved you and i was sooo sorry i couldnt have you. your daddy was giving some shout outs to lol... he was very upset though, he really wanted you to be born. like i wanted you to be born to but life isnt easy. me and your dad cant even take care of our selfs let alone a baby.... so having you would of been very difficult for us to get what you needed and at the same time trying to get our selfs together to. i miss feeling tiny little you inside me even though you made me sick everyday i didnt feel alone because i had you in me. now i just feel emty and not complete anymore. the doctor showed me the ultra sound of you... you were sooo tiny, you looked like a little bean lol you were my little goya bean:) wish i could of watched my little goya bean grow into something beautiful and so wonderful. i look at your aunt helena and shes prego now with a boy which would be your cousin. i get so jealous of her and it makes me think of you even more.. baby one day i promise to have you again and it will be yoou. my goya bean again. this time no abortion and me and your daddy will be ready:) you might have other brothers and sisters to. will be a big family. will show you love like no other. your daddy is gonna change your diapers though lol well hopfully ill see you soon whenever im ready. i love yoooou soo does daddy<3

~Love your future mommy

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